Worked all weekend, had a good time out with my friend Shalia for her birthday! The music was great at church on Sunday, but I left there wanting more beef. Just wanted to dive into the Word like Brother Dale's messages. All the parents with new babies got up to dedicate their children and I was so sad.... Wished I was up there, but knew that for whatever reason that is wasn't what the Lord wanted for us. After work I went down to Rocky Point with some friends on Sunday to watch the game. I wasn't gonna stay very long but I stayed through the whole game cuz it was sooo good. Saints won, and they're headed to the Superbowl!! We had a good time! Enjoyed Monday off, went to Wal Mart and did some cooking. Made PW breakfast burritos so Jerod could have them for his breakfast in the mornings. Was supposed to have my first night of class on Monday, but it was cancelled because of the weather. The instructor said she heard the roads were rough and didn't want to risk it. I was furious! I could have gone home for the funeral and seen my friends and family. I was so angry, but I just had to let it go cuz it does no good dwelling on it.
Had to work last night but wasn't feeling too well. When I got home I found 3 of my 4 books on the porch. I was so grateful to get them so I could get started.
Had my foot Dr appointment today and he told me I have to wear the "special shoe" another 2 weeks and then we would go from there. :( I was ok with that tho.. yes I was disappointed, but honestly I just want it healed and done with. Tried to read and work on school stuff today but couldn't stay focused. Lexi was crying and I couldn't do anything for her. It was too cold to go for a walk and I can't cuz of my shoe. I decided I had to go to the library in order to re-focus. My mind was other places and I had to pray for the Lord to recenter me.
Been strugglin with the whole attention thing, and why I need it. I feel like sometimes I just don't get attention from Jerod.... Maybe its not attention as much as it is communication. We communicate on a need to know basis... We don't talk like we're friends anymore or encourage or just WANT to talk to each other. I miss that. Wanting to be desired and loved for other reasons rather than just physical. I got a good man though, and I know that... I just wonder sometimes if this is what it's like for everyone...Is every marriage this way? Will it always be this way?? Talked to a dear friend about it and she really helped me see a different perspective. It was comforting to know that someone else understood where I was coming from without any judgement. Tomorrow my daddy will be 63 years old. Hard to believe. Miss him so much and wish I could be there to celebrate with the family! I'm getting sleepy so I think its time for me to sign off. I know this seems like I rambled on, and I did.. but hey at least I am blogging right? LOL
No comments:
Post a Comment