Lonely Much?

Disclaimer: This is a safe place, with no judgement. Authenticity is the aim.

Surely I am not the only one who faces moments of loneliness, longing for companionship, the need to be seen, feel important, to be known and loved. Are you ever burdened and broken down by these empty feelings? Does the discouragement ever bring you to shut down? I have struggled with depression in my past, but because of the freedom I have found in Christ that no longer has a hold on me. Much of this has been brought on by the continuous negative results of pregnancy. We have not been trying for very long, but at age 30 and so anxious to start a family I was hoping it would be instant. This past month we thought for sure it was going to be a positive result. Everyone around me is pregnant. Many who didn't really want to be. I am not jealous of their pregnancy. In fact, I am excited for them. But the longing to have a baby is so deep. When I hear women complain about their pregnancy or how they can't sleep, have indigestion... I want to be understanding, but I want to just scream at them for complaining. There are so many women who have been trying for years with no results. My heart aches for those women. I know how hard it has been for me after six months. The heartache, negative..negative... This spawned the discouragement and fear.

The questions of... what if I can't get pregnant? What if something is wrong with me? What if I never have kids? Led to... What if I never get to move closer to home? What if something bad happens and I'm not there? What if I finish school and can't find a better job? What if Jerod doesn't find something else that he loves to do? What if we never finish working on this house and never move? What if I have to stay here? What if...What if... What if!!!

This fear, this sadness, this loneliness held me captive for several days. I knew had to snap out of it! This is not God's intention for my life. He came that I might have life and have it to the fullest. I have to resist these lies. He who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it. Why is it so hard for me to trust? Why would I trust in the deceiver who is out to steal, kill and destroy and not the Almighty, Sovereign, Creator of the Universe, Alpha and Omega, Redeemer, Light of the World, Lamb of God, Jehovah, my Savior, Shepherd, the true vine, my rock and fortress, my safe haven, the Cornerstone, the Captain of Salvation, the Author and Finisher of my faith, Deliverer, the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Lord of peace, and Lord over all?



Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
Psalm 25:16


Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28


The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:17-18

If you are not familiar with Rita Springer, you should be. Check out this song

I have to Believe

I have to believe that He sees my darkness
I have to believe that He knows my pain
I have to lift up my hands to worship
Worship His name

I have to declare that He is my refuge
I have to deny that I am alone
I have to lift up my eyes to the mountains
It’s where my help comes from

He said that He’s forever faithful
He said that He’s forever true
He said that He can move mountains
And if He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move Your mountain too

I have to stand tall when the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong when I’m weak and afraid
I have to grab hold, hold of the garments
Garments of praise

I have to sing praise when the hour is midnight
He unlocks the chains that bind up my soul
My sin and my shame, He has forgiven, and made me whole

I have to believe...